A client was stuck. Frustrated. Life was not going well. I gave her some advice which she refused because she liked to learn the hard way- through experience. Many people tell me they like to learn the hard way, to learn from experience, and that is why they have a difficult time following advice, or even, a course of study. They feel they need to experience something to really lear it. I ask such people if they had to reinvent language to learn how to speak, or reinvent the automobile to learn how to drive a car. I point out that they learned language with the guidance and help of others, even if it was just having a model to copy. By shifting perspective it is easier to see the fallacy of their belief. Not every ounce of wisdom has to be gleaned from direct experience. I don’t need to have AIDS to know I don’t want to catch it. I don’t need to be mangled in a car accident to know I want learn to avoid it.