The woman said she was confused. I said she wasn’t. Yes I am, no you’re not, yes I am, no your not. You love him, right? Yes. You want to marry him, right? Yes. You want to spend the rest of your life with him, right? Yes. So how is it that you are confused? Because he doesn’t know what he wants. Doesn’t that make him confused? Yes….
I find women more than men will mistake their partners, children, and parents frame of mind as their own. Women seem to identify with the group, and lose themselves, more than men. But this confusion of identity leads to ineffective problem solving. It is not selfish to have distance of identity, to separate your sense of self from a relationship or group. In fact it is necessary to have meaningful relationships based on mutual appreciation. Journal, diary, take long walks, find some way to reflect and stay in touch with yourself.